November 1998

Dear Family & Friends,

We want to start with a summary of what has been going on over the last nine months for those of you who have recently begun getting these and for those of you who need a memory refresher.

In February of 1998, we took Sebastian, who was then 17 months old to the doctor because his tummy looked large and felt firm. He was diagnosed with a cancer called neuroblastoma. Neuroblastoma is generally only seen in children and is found as tumors in one or more parts of the body. Sebastian's tumor originated off of his right adrenal gland above the kidney.

From February to May, he recieved chemotherapy for a week out of each of those months with outstanding results. His tumor shrunk dramatically and he tolerated the chemo incredibly well with very little side effects and only one readmittance into the hospital with an infection. In June, we began all of the tests that were in preparation for an autologous bone marrow transplant. In July, surgery was done to remove the bulk of the tumor as well as another round of chemo. In late August, just days before the transplant was to occur, a CT was performed and showed that the cancer had spread to his lungs, liver and lymph nodes. The bone marrow transplant was cancelled and salvation chemotherapy was started in September.

The CT performed in October showed that the cancer has continued to spread despite this very aggressive treatment. He has a tumor in his chest behind his heart but in front of his spine, another one off of his liver which is causing all kinds of bowel and bladder problems. There are numerous lymph nodes with tumor involvement and probably some bone tumors as well. The doctors in Iowa City have recommended that we halt any further chemotherapy because the risks out weigh the benefits and believe morphine could yield the same results. The risks of aggressive chemotherapy include infections, miserable side effects and an overall decrease in the quality of his life.

We have not asked and the doctors have not volunteered this information, however, it is our sense from them that they don't think that Sebastian will live for very much longer. They believe that the rapid growth of the tumors will quickly interfere with the function of either his blood flow, heart, kidneys, or liver.

In both September and October, we saw that the chemotherapy helped Sebastian feel better. He does incredibly well tolerating the chemo even though he is getting industrial strength doses. So at this point, we are still planning to continue with chemo in November against the recommendations of the doctors. We feel that as his parents, we are best able to determine what constitutes "quality of life."

We have always had the choice to make various decisions when it has come to his treatment and we have generally gone with what the doctors have recommended. This has been a very difficult decision to make and the doctors have implied that we may not be "in reality" because of our determination to continue with chemotherapy.

Well, as you can guess, we are very dependent upon your prayers concerning a miracle. We are standing firm and keeping our eyes upon God for this miracle of healing. It has always been a gutsy stand for us to take concerning this but now more than ever because the medical team has stepped aside and have agreed that the only thing that will save Sebastian's life is a miracle from God.

We are so thankful that there are so many of you out there that have been praying with us and for us on behalf of Sebastian. We are so thankful for the gift of God's word that gives us so many examples of miraculous healings. We are so thankful that we don't have to fear, just believe.

Specifically, we are asking for prayer that Sebastian would remain free from infections and fevers during the dates of November 6th-16th. (Last month he did indeed remain free of infections and fevers!!-Thanks!!) We are also asking for prayer that his blood counts would return to "normal" by November 20th in order to get more chemo. Also that Sebastian would be free from pain.

More prayers for our family would include an extra measure of grace as we all seem to have caught an early sinus cold. Also, it has been very difficult for us to relay medical facts to our children while at the same time standing firm in our faith in a miracle.

Michele joined us for several days in October and actually has stated that she is coming back at Christmas! Steve Jr. is doing a fantastic job working toward graduating early from Moline High School in June of 1999. Stephanie has started her medical career a little early by helping us out with alot of Sebastian's care including dressing changes and line flushes. Sam is four and a half years old and really has no clue as to what is going on except that once again, Sebastian is receiving alot more attention than he is and he has lots of little tricks up his sleeve to try to get some for himself. Spencer, as a defense mechanism, has started to take some steps at nine months but still only has one tooth! Steve Sr. and Tracy continue to cling together for our family because of our God. We have an enormous amount of peace and know that this whole situation rests in the hands of God.

Are there any other types of chemotherapy that can be given? The doctors pulled out their big guns right from the start due to the aggressive nature of his cancer. Even bigger doses were given after the relapse and his cancer continues to spread so it seems that his cancer has built up a resistance to the standard chemotherapy drugs.

What is causing his pain? Typically tumors themselves are not painful unless they are in his bones which is very probable. Other pain comes from bowel and bladder blockage.

What do we need? Our standard answer to that is always prayer. We believe so strongly that prayer is what will save our little boy. Please pray to our loving God to heal Sebastian.

Do we need anything else? Lots of people ask us this question and there is never a good answer to it. The best way to help us is to think of something that you could give or do and then ask us if it is something that we need by calling to leave a message or sending or dropping off a note. We know that so many of you want to do something to help us and we appreciate the offers. Many people have already done so much for us over these nine months and we just can't believe that everyone is still standing by.

As usual, we will continue with our updates in the coming months. Thank you again for your prayers and thoughts. Everything is more bearable when we know that we are not alone.

In God's Abundant Love,

The Dockery's