Dear Family and Friends,

We wanted to send out a note to let you know "how we are doing." Sebastian's birthdate is August 31 and he would have been three. Although we don't have any plans for doing something in particular, we just wanted to let you know so you can pray for us and join with us in spirit as we remember all of the ways that he blessed our lives.

Grieving is an intense process that effects so many people in so many ways. Our whole family has gone through ups and downs at so many different levels of pain, confusion, peace and understanding at various times over the last eight months. We continue to cling to the comfort that can only be found in Christ. Sometimes that "clinging" is just that-white knuckling while He carries us through the awful pain of missing him so much that we don't think that we could possibly make it through another day without seeing him just to find that the sun does indeed rise and then set on another day. On days that I just want to stay in my cave, Doc is ready to take on the world, spreading Sebastian's story to everyone and retelling the wonderful works of God. On days that I think that I can surface long enough to be nice to people, he decides that a cave is a nice place to be for a while.

Then there are the children-Sam told us just the other day that he was just too tired to go to bed, instead he just wanted to die and go to heaven so he could see Sebastian. With my heart nearly ripped out, I explained to him that we all want to go to heaven but that we have to wait until God calls us to go. He whined and said, "that will take hours and hours!"

Our feelings of loss have intensified with both our senior pastor Vic accepting a position in Tacoma, WA and our associate pastor Mike accepting a position in the San Fransico Bay Area. Although we know that it is God's will that these men and their families move to new congregations, our hearts are hurting that they will not be with us as we continue to face the pain of anniversaries-especially Christmas.

The upside of things is that we have done some fun things this summer. Steve Jr. and Doc went to Atlanta to watch the Giants lose to the Braves a couple of times. They first dropped Sam off in Kentucky so he could hang out with Grandpa Cleo and the cattle (he picked up a tick while he was there-something to put in the scrapbook!) We've gone camping a couple of times with our happy camping friends out at Loud Thunder and are hoping to steal away for a night in Des Moines when we pick Sam and Stephanie up from The Heart Connections Sibling Oncology Camp.

The kids continue to stay busy-Michele still lives in New England, Steve graduated from Moline High School in June, Stephanie will be in 7th grade at John Deere Middle School and Sam will be in Kindergarten at Garfield Elementary School. Spencer is stuck at home with me until he can make it to Blessed Beginnings Preschool-watch out 01-02!

I have recently become a consultant for Creative Memories. Creative Memories is a business where I teach classes on how to preserve photographs and memorabilia in safe and meaningful ways as well as sell the products (scrapbooks, supplies, etc). I know that it probably really shocks all of you that I am doing this, but it really has been very fun, challenging and profitable! Doc has been very supportive and uses the time that I am gone to play guitar for the boys so he can gear up for playing with the Praise Team at church (since another awesome family moved to Arizona)!

For those of you who have not seen the website for Sebastian, the address is http://dockery.faithweb.com/ I want to thank Barbara for having this idea and for putting forth all of the effort of putting it together. It is all of the newsletters with pictures throughout. Also, another big thanks to Marianne Mather for giving me all of the negatives of the pictures she took of Sebastian (over 800)!

Again, thank you all for your continuous displays of love, kindness, understanding and prayers for our whole family. We can not imagine what life would be like without all of you listening, giving us time and space when we need it, praying without ceasing and reminding us that we are not the only ones who think of him. Still Hanging in there with God's Abundant Love, The Dockery's Steve Sr. ("Doc") & Tracy Michele, Steve Jr., Stephanie Samuel & Spencer