The outpouring of your love and support has been overwhelming!

Dance Marathon is a program that began five years ago to raise money for families who have a child with cancer who are being treated at University of Iowa Hospitals & Clinics. It started as a way to raise money to help meet financial needs but has since grown into physical, emotional and spiritual support as well. The big event that is held on the first weekend of February is a 30 hour marathon were U of I students dance (dance is a very loose term here!) The volume of toys and stuffed animals that we were able to take with us to this event thrills us. The smiles on the faces of the children as they clung to those stuffed animals was so touching. Thank you all so very much. The unit in which Sebastian was hospitalized received the toys. We were able to deliver some to Trinity's Children's Inpatient Unit in Rock Island, Illinois.

A date has been chosen for the much anticipated "Sebastian Story" to run in the Moline Dispatch and Rock Island Argus. Sunday, March 14, 1999 in the "Life" section. Marianne Mather, the photojournalist, met our family at the "Relay for Life" held at Ericsson Field at Augustana College. She stated that her attraction to Sebastian was that he was such a two-year-old despite having cancer and all of the things that go along with it. She asked if she could do a follow up story regarding his bone marrow transplant. When the transplant was cancelled, she maintained her interest in following up on his life. Marianne came into our home, our church, our hospital stays and our grief. We became accustomed to having her around so much that many times we didn't even notice that she was there. We hope that you will buy the Dispatch or Argus if you don't already subscribe. If you are out of town, and can not get a copy, please let us know, we will have lots of extras.

Plans to plant a pin oak tree in Prospect Park near the playground are underway. The tree will be planted on Friday, May 7, 1999. On Saturday, May 8, 1999 we will have a dedication ceremony at Prospect Park with a picnic potluck at the shelter by the playground. The times and other details are still being worked out so save that date on your calendars (yes, it is Mother's Day on Sunday, May 9)!

We have also made a scholarship available at "Blessed Beginnings Preschool" at Trinity Lutheran Church in Moline in memory of Sebastian. He would have been in the three-year-old program for the 99-00 year.

Other memorial plans include scholarships to the University of Iowa for children who have had cancer and their siblings. Special consideration will be given to participants of the Dance Marathon.

We have been trying to get notes of thank you out to many of you who contributed money and toys and stuffed animals to express our appreciation. We are certain that many of the toys and stuffed animals were not acknowledged because the cards got separated in transport. Please accept our thanks and try to be patient with us as we continue to try to get them out. We do want to offer thanks to all of you who have sent cards, lifted us up in prayer, delivered food, called to check on us and have kept us in your thoughts.

Nothing could prepare us for this, no matter how sick Sebastian was or how accurate the doctor's predictions were. The ache in our hearts is physical, emotional and spiritual. Anyone who has suffered a loss knows that you do experience a physical pain that ranges from a constant dull feeling to a piercing sharp pain. The emotional pain also comes in a variety of feelings. We often hear about the stages of grief and it is a nice guideline but we all know that nothing ever fits in between the lines, especially the death of a two year old boy whose body was racked with cancer. The spiritual ache also resides in the heart and has become more of a longing and a desire to become closer to God so that we can experience the comfort that only He can provide.

We learned that we are not the only ones who have been affected by Sebastian's life and death. Our families, congregation, friends, neighbors, co-workers and the entire community have been touched by him. We learned that this journey truly has just begun. We learned that in order for this tragic situation to have meaning for so many of us, we must let go of all of the things that we try to control and let God guide our lives. He is waiting to do just that. He wants to do just that. He wants us to give him our lives. We hope and pray that we can all strive for that.

February 6 marked the one year date that we found out about Sebastian's cancer. The actual diagnosis came on the day that Spencer was born, February 11. What a journey it has been. It has been difficult and draining but certainly not defeating.

Spencer is now one and has been running since sometime back in December. He fills our home with laughter and reminds us that there is still joy in this world amidst grief.

Sam has handled the loss of Sebastian with grace and innocence. He informed some people that "Sebastian died and is now in heaven with Jesus. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. I don't know those other two guys that died on the cross, but I know Jesus!"

Stephanie continues to add new activities to her list with her latest being a sitter for those unexpected days off from school. She helps keep Sebastian's memories alive by reminding us of the various words and phrases that he used to say. "Gork" (dork) was a favorite introduced by Uncle Wally and reinforced by Nurse Jodi.

Steve is forging ahead with plans to graduate early so he can get a leap on climbing the corporate ladder at Whitey's Ice Cream. The weather has not cooperated in his efforts to shoot one hundred free throws in a row, however, he has made it as high as 97/100.

Doc and I began the Weigh Down Workshop Bible Study in January and the scales are still out on the results, however the hearts are in and growing strong. We are adjusting to the increase in the amount of free time we have on our hands by making future plans for Sebastian's memorial.